The past two weeks I have been on a mini vacation back home with my mom in Arizona. It was so nice to get away and we even got to spend four days on the beach in San Diego thanks to my Great-Aunt and Granny. Ill do a post all about that later, this post is a about something different.
Before I left to head back to El Paso, my mom got a phone call about my Papa (her dad). He apparently was not feeling very well and was very jaundice, after a lot of begging on my mom part she convinced him to drive up to the city (he lives in Sierra Vista, close to Fort Huacucha) she lives in for more testing at a bigger hospital.
Unfortunately the out come is not good. He has pancreatic cancer with a six to eight month life expectancy rate. Every time I say it out loud I am still in the same amount of shock I was when I found out. I mean, my papa? No, he is a tough, mean, old Cowboy- there is no way he has cancer. Thats seriously how I feel, but clearly not the case.
My Papa is one of the biggest influences in my life. I grew up living on his land with horses and rodeos. He was harsh and tough but loving and sweet. My fondest memories are Christmas mornings with him, this huge man turned to mush on the holiday. I will miss him so much.
Its been a struggle for me to be strong for my mom, she is the epitome of a "daddies girl" and I know this is killing her. Between sadness and pregnancy hormones its been very hard for me to keep it together, but I am trying so hard to be a rock for her. To top it all off my mom is having neck surgery this week to replace two disc's. I am beyond scared and worried for her, and the recovery process is long and seems to be pretty tough.
This week has been full of tears and heart ache but I am hoping seeing Kimber today on ultrasound will help me feel better, plus my baby shower this weekend! I just ask that if you read this you say a small prayer for my papa. I don't expect a miracle, I just want him to be comfortable and to enjoy the rest of his time with us.